I Don’t Know Who I Am Without You; All I Know Is That I Should (Allie)

Take a line from a song that you love or connect with. Now forget the song, and turn that line into the title or inspiration for your post.

The “inspire me” link under “Create a New Post” gave me this line for my next topic. I liked it, so I thought of one of my favorite songs ever, which is “Where I Stood” by Missy Higgins, and this post will be about relationships and maintaining one’s own image within it.

I read something today in an article that said, “make sure your life consists of more than just your relationship.” I thought, well, yes…and no. You want to remember who you are, what you bring to the table, and you never want to lose touch with that independent, fun side. You don’t want to become the kind of person who cannot breathe unless their significant other is there with them, or relies so heavily on that person that they feel too much weight on their shoulders. 
BUT.
You also want to remember that nothing on earth is more precious than that relationship. The Bible talks about how the chain of “command” is God, then the man, and then his wife. Not God, the man, and then his XBox and the dog, or God, the man, and his kids and then his wife. Our other half should truly be the most important thing in our earthly lives, besides the Great Commission, which is to “go ye, unto all nations, and spread the Word.” And that little “besides” up there is not meant to make the Great Commission look like a side-note. It is, above all, our calling, and to ignore it is to render all our other efforts, no matter how life-changing or amazing, moot. 

But I digress.
Justin said something the other day along the lines of, “but it didn’t involve you.” 

I take issue with this statement, as it’s SUCH a gray area. Everything that happens in his life now technically involves me, but how should I go about knowing what things I should concern myself with? What if, in the process of thinking that everything concerns me, I become so consumed with his life and what he’s up to all the time, I lose my own hobbies and friendships and life skills? What if I become THAT GIRL, and am so obsessed over his every move, that I suffocate him? This is a line that couples have walked for decades and decades, and I’m pretty sure it hasn’t gotten any easier, especially with the whole social media thing and being able to keep tabs on anyone at anytime. 

It’s different for every individual. YOU have to find that balance, for you PERSONALLY, that says, “I’m confident in my relationship and I know that I dedicate enough time to my spouse and I have friends and a social circle and I even take kick-boxing every Friday night.” 

I think the line in Missy Higgins’ song, “Where I Stood” is very indicative of a dysfunctional relationship. “I don’t know who I am, who I am, without you; all I know is that I should.” We can sense when a relationship gets too heavy, and that’s the point where we need to dump some of it back into the other court — don’t let your significant other consume you.

Let them enhance you and help you grow. 

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